Happy Purim!!!

Purim Same’ach!!! I’m so excited to have a holiday! It’s about time that I’ve been allowed to sleep in after a night of … well, not much. I didn’t do too much for Purim, aside from mistaking this Upper West Side synagogue for a bar. THEY WAS pouring shots in the pews; yes, it was shots of bourbon and scotch. Then, they was bottles of beers looking on as the megillah was chanted. Daniel and I hurried home. We were cooking dinner for the Bayit. Our festive holiday was spent less glamorously than others. A few house peoples brought over beer and snacks. There’s no lying: I was exhausted. We watched some AbFab reruns and passed out.

Not coincidently, my life has become a lot like this Purim: crazy and headin’ for the beddin’. I am still catching up on life after my trip to Austin. I’ve also already planned on going back for Passover. I’ll have to be sure to get everything done. It feels like I’m so behind. In sooo many ways, I feel like I’m also playing “catch up” with my relationship. What’s going on there?

I’m developing fantastic relationships with some fabulous people. It helps when the main thing is lagging behind. There are times when my girlfriends request my help with their relationships. How much do I really know? I’d like to think that I’ve done this enough times to know better. But, what does it mean when my own relationship appears just as dysfunctional as everyone else’s. At times, I feel like I’m the one who needs to get a clue.

¡¡¡I dOn’t kNoW wHat i’M DoinG!!! There. I said it. I feel that way so often. It’s safe to say that I am the leader in our relationship, but, like my fabulous girlfriend Deborah, I don’t want to be the leader. In a world where homegirl is misunderstood, I totally get her. We just want some big men to take charge and to make those right, very satisfying decisions. Yet, when it’s necessary (and, with men, when isn’t it?), we take charge and try to figure out some shit. Between figuring out what men want and what we really need, us bitches get dizzy.

So, on this Purim, I’m gonna take a nap. The rest of the year puts me in need of rest. Soon, I’ll have to work out why this relationship is giving my problem solving skeeels such a fucking work out. Until then, it’s glasses of champagne in the air. Sobriety is so overrated.