Self Exam

It's been too long. Honestly, I haven't spent too much time doing the things I love. I know it seems a tad dramatic, but I think that I'm experiencing what my girlfriend Amy calls a "quarter-life crisis." I know; I know. I guess you just have to be there.

While the relationship is fine for now, we've had a rough time. I feel that now we're only coasting through the tranquil times. At any bump int he road, however, we're at a loss. I'm not sure what this means. It can't be good, but it's not that bad.

My academic work is really up in the air. The program at JTS has been thoroughly disappointing while also unbelievably expensive. I'm at a point in my twenties where my career must be advancing. Lately, it feels as though nothing is happening. I'm not writing, researching, or teaching. A year into this sequence, I'm ready to call myself out on what I am expecting.

Limbo is never a nice place; whether in love or work, it strikes at the heart of the stability, the certainty, and the security that I need. Argh!

Looking around at others' plans, successes and unexpected detours, I am slightly disappointed that my time in the NYC has been less … fruitful. It should be no surprise that being in the New York requires an enormous effort on my part. In retrospect, Austin wasn't so bad.

Is this just me or is it common to have these bewildered blues more than year after graduating college? When does wishful thinking become whining? Is this a dilemma of the privileged, or does this happen to all twenty-somethings? I'm just afraid that I won't be able to meditate my way out of this one.