Breathing on a Budget

I’m anxious. Right, what else is new? Months out of school and into a real job and into an even more real apartment, there’s only one “logical” thing left to do: pay bills … pay bills more regularly. This is might be problem given that I work for a non-profit organization in a city that is very much organized for profit. I fear that, once all is paid for the month, I may be stuck just “hanging out” with books I’ve already purchased awaiting an invitation to a dinner party or an open bar.

In an attempt to self-soothe in a way that religion and expensive booze cannot, I’ve been anxiously putting together a list of free things to do in the City. Really, it’s pathetic. I admit; it’s cliché in the worst way. But, a girl’s gotta do …

Idea number one was to attend as many Barnes & Noble lecture series evens as possible. Check. So far, we’ve “met” some cool writers, celebrities, and “personalities.” It’s not so bad if you don’t mind running into the same older people for whom the lecture is the week’s highlight. I guess I shouldn’t judge. But, at least I’m at work all day anticipating the talk and not walking the perimeter of Macy’s or some park in Brooklyn. Oh, to be old …

The second idea I had was to visit (if not also to use) the gym that I already pay for in my building. In addition, I could walk over an avenue to the Jackie Kennedy Onassis Reservoir path in Central Park, perfect for jogging with that very expensive iPod armband I purchased months ago. I’ll let you know how that turns out.

And, last on the short list is to find a man with lots of money who’s also low on time. This way, he finds ways to make me happy while I also have a life without him. Now, I know what you’re thinking: how will I have time to juggle two men. (Pat yourselves on the back if you remembered the Daniel.)

Ladies, believe me; the hard part isn’t so much figuring out what to do with both. Really, it’s ensuring that they don’t introduce you to the same people. Manhattan is a tiny place! If that were to happen, I’d really look like a whore. Even the queer eye guys could attest that “whore” is about as out as that melted-lip-sticking-looking-slut-red that The Gap has been pushing to no avail.

So, here I am less anxious now that I’ve put some thought into my list. Although, I have to mention that nothing quells anxiety for me better than spending money. How’s that for the apex of irony?!? Why, already I’m buying concert tickets like I’m back in the seventh grade. The way I see it, it’s worry and spend rather than not worry and overspend. I think we can all agree that the former is the lesser of two very seductive evils.