Don't tease the hair!

I am tired of doing my hair only to not end up going out. It’s a common occurrence for me. With all the problems that the world faces today, one might assume that I’d have something better to lament. Alas, just the hair.

The reason has become clear to me: These days I cannot find myself at the top of anyone’s list of priorities, as far as people are priorities. I am at a point in my life where my parents, both remarried with “new” families, have children not yet in grade school. My closest friends are increasingly acquiring significant others and are befriending others in their new-found life stations. Yet, I have remained single, without children, after a series of relationships, some long-term, others lasting only nights.

It’s not a conscious effort on the part of others that is weighing me down. My family would love it if I settled down with Mr. Right. They would love it if I actually became Mr. Married myself, instead of just dating him. My friends have always been patient with the guys that I bring around. It’s not them ... well, not exactly.

No, what is happening to me is not part of some concerted effort, but simply inevitable. As my station in life is left unchanged, the station of others is not; theirs is organic and begins to need more than mine affords. I have quickly become a minority in a world where I was already unrepresented. I have more in common with minors than I do with my contemporaries. Like children, I too am romantically unattached, still bearing my father’s name, and still eating at the children’s table at Thanksgiving and Passover. As with children, it matters less what my hair looks like.

I have to admit, it’s lonely. I am no one’s dependent. I can feed and clothe myself. I am no one’s lover, at least, not seriously. I don’t share a bank account with anyone. I pay only my bills. I don’t tuck anyone into bed every night; I wash only my sheets.

I too want the comforts that a relationship has to offer. Even for those who don’t, there should be some source of solace and support. I too will blame “society” for the second-class status of singles. I too am guilty of wanting to leave this station on the next available train. The challenge, for me as well as for others, is to make it a nicer place while we’re passing through. In all candidness, one never knows when he will find himself stuck in the dreaded station of single living.

So, I ask of everyone; the next time you are able, please reconsider your single friends. Don’t leave us hanging as you have second thoughts in partaking in our daily lives. Yes, we are aware that childcare and diapers are expensive. Yes, we are grateful for not having to deliberate over anniversary and Valentine’s Day gifts. But hey, believe this gay boy when he says: my gel and hairspray ain’t cheap either.