General Generalizing

The Bayit party was last night. I’m still feeling the effects. It’s amazing how drunk I manage to get. I break my own records regularly. It’s harder to worry when youse drunk. Plus, I never feel sexier.

Over a greasy brunch (it helps with the pain), some girlfriends and I discussed men. What else is there, really? One is having issues with men who's having problems seeing her as anything more than a potential wife, “the kind of woman you sleep with but don’t sleep with.” Men are weird. Virgin-whore complexes are so out. I’m done having this conversation. This is the reason why the Bible allows polygamy. They can't allow one woman to be more than one thing. It becomes clear that no one except a man could have written it.

I find this issue strikingly similar to the issue that so many men have with food. Have you ever noticed that many men have odd eating rituals? Too many men eat only one portion at a time before touching anything else on the plate. Nothing can touch; no two things can go down together. Over emphasizing boundaries on the plate is a bit excessive, no?

Categories make life seem easier than it actually is. It requires less thinking. The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that men require simplicity. Otherwise, they can’t take it, and steam just blows from their huge heads. Categories simplify and facilitate. This is why I’m convinced that men created traditional religion. As long as it’s spoon-fed with little room to challenge and wrestle, they'll eat it all up.

This has been your weekly wisdom from the overly optimistic think tank:

iwouldnthatemensomuchifididnthavetodatethem.com.