Butter Options

It really is control that keeps us happy. No, I'm not really talking about control in a relationship or reigning over the remote control. Think for a moment: wouldn't it be nice, for example, if we could control who calls, e-mails, or drives when we're driving? Yeah, well, I won't hold my breath for some anti-moron technology. But, for the last few weeks, however, I've been practicing a new kind of kontrol: what I hear on the news.

Who can still stomach the senseless violence against children and the rabid rhetoric of the radical Right? Forget my finances and my job; the news is the most depressing part of my day. As a loyal NPR listener and a Yahoo! headlines browser, I depend on the news to stay in touch with a world that's more frightening than a dry county on Valentine's Day. Whom to do???

My solution: to choose the news. My new practice involves ignoring the home page of npr.org and searching for something bloodlessly kosher in the "Arts" section. At the Fresh Air webpage, I can find fun interviews with people who aren't trying to scare me to death with the threat of terrorists, tremors, or televangelists. When I pick what I hear, I'm not nearly as nauseous.

Okay, so I'm sure that I sound like a guy on one of those fundraisers for public television and radio. No surprise there, huh? Seriously, though; sanity is something we take for granted (provided that we still have it). Choosing my newsings is one of the best things I've done for my mind since Ali G and whiskey. It's like HBO On-Demand surfing, only with less fiction and for free!

Not sure about a book you think you might want? Check out a review of it or, even better, an interview wif the author on-line. This is what gets me through the folding and hanging end of the illustrious laundry process. Everything from new music to new art exhibits is talked about on-line. Wanna practice Spanish? Life's so much more dramatic when you hear about it en español. ¿Verdad, Yenita?

Yesterday, I took a nap instead of jogging. I thought that I could at least get some yoga in. Instead, I listened to an interview that I missed last month with Dr. Ingrid Mattson, the new president of the Islamic Society of North America. She is not only the first female but also the first convert and the first native North American to be elected to this position. Fresh Air has archives that go back as far as 1996!

Anyway, Happy Sukkot! I'll be sitting in our booth for the next eight days noshing on tofu treats and choliday challah. If you're in the City call me, and I'll invite you over. But, remember, only call with good news or baked goods.

Chag same'ach!